Home > Me > Amanda

I had a sister named Amanda. She she died of Asplastic Anemia when she was 7; I was 9. At that time in my life I didn't grieve, but went through more of a shock period. Her death has greatly affected me, and is, in part, responsible for who I am today.

Amanda Lynn Reed was born on June 28, 1988. Her dad is my mother's ex husband, Dan, and our mom is Jane. On May 30 1995, the day before my birthday, she was diagnosed with cancer. She had Aplastic Anemia, a blood disease, very much like Lukemia. Amanda spent the next six to seven months in the hospital. She was given blood transfusions, at first through an I.V. then through a catheter in her chest.

Eventually she was able to come home, although we had to get rid of our cats, and she couldn't go to school. She had a tutor who had to wear a mask when she came over. We couldn't risk anything, not even a common cold.

But that didn't last long, she went back into the hospital. My mom spent all her time there, she stayed in the Ronald Mcdonald House across the street. Ocasionally I would stay there, too, as would some of our family but Dan was a jerk, and often wouldn't drive me. I spent a lot of time with relatives and at friends' houses that year. Mostly because it was an hour drive to Marshfield, but partly because Dan wasn't willing to take responsibility for me.

Amanda needed a bone marrow transplant to live, and even that wasn't a certain cure. She was put on chemotherapy, but it didn't really help. Toward the end she went into a coma and was put in the PICU. She never got the transplant. Maybe because they couldn't find a donor, or maybe because we just didn't have enough money. I don't know.

Amanda was in a coma for several days, and mom decided to shut off the artificial respiration. Most everyone agreed it would be better because if she survived she would have probably been crippled and blind because of all this. I was at my grandmother's house when we got the call. No one ever actually told me she was dead, but I figured it out. Afterward I was given a stuffed reindeer someone left outside her room.

At that moment i did the only thing I could think of: write. I have since lost that poem, but many people can remember it.

After Amanda's death mom was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, two other people in our family died, and mom started planning her divorce. Nothing went back to normal, but nothing got better either.

The funeral was unreal. I don't remember crying. I was the shoulder for Dan. i never understood why they took us out of the front room of the church until later. They had closed the casket.

3 years ago I began undertaking this project, and on her birthday it was completed. The project was a section of my site dedicated to her. It did, and still does, mean a lot to me. However, since then, I haven't really updated the section for obvious reasons.

This section will become a few pages under the "me" portion of this site. I will be adding pictures of her, and links I meant to add years ago [literally], but the section will no longer be as it was.

If you're light at heart, I've been told this made some people cry. You have been warned.

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